Letting Go With Love (video)

Posted on July 10, 2009. Filed under: Life, Love | Tags: , , |

Letting go of a relationship is often done in ways that are painful and lack intelligence. It is done destructively and unconsciously through fault finding and blame naming. And most of all it dishonors the good that was there for all the time the relationship was great.

I believe that there really is a time and a season and a purpose. I believe that people know when it is time to let go. They ignore it. They don’t want to know. They hate confrontation. They hate endings. But they know.

Endings are beginnings and how you end a relationship is really important because the memories will be attached to the ending. And the ending will create energy for new beginnings. Letting go with love is the only conscious choice for people who live in and come from the heart in everything they do. Nothing else fits. Nothing else really works.

Yes, it is hard. It is hard because no one wants to be the one to cause pain and if you cause the pain you can’t fix the pain. The other has to do it themselves. We are feeling beings. It is hurtful when you can’t talk to someone who has been your friend for years. But the friendship has to go on hold because people need to heal. That can take time. Not because anyone was wrong either but rather because we need to let go. So a wall goes up for a while and people learn to refocus. It is like anesthesia. (People who really love each other will always be friends in the end. Actually, it is a good test.)

What you can do is send loving thoughts that come from the unconditional place of acceptance for both yourself and your partner. You can make sure you are not holding on to any kind of resentments or grudges. You can also make sure you are not blaming your partner for anything that has not been disclosed. You want it to be clean and truly in the heart. Bless the end as you did the beginning.

It is strange when you leave someone you like and love. We are used to anger and guilt. But the results of growth are that you just follow your own intuition and trust it. Like always. People will want to know why but the why for endings is often no more explainable than the why for beginnings. You can’t really explain why. It just is. You just know when it is time.

The words “til death do us part” have always bothered me. It is hard to live in the moment with that hanging over your head. Rarely are people prepared to live up to those words unless they have come together later in life and it is an agreement they already have. They came in knowing they would finish together.

I think love and life are very much like a part in a play. You are onstage while it is your turn and then you leave the stage and go backstage until it is your turn again. Or you go offstage until the next show. You play your part until it is over and then the other players come in to do their part. It is clean and simple. Even when emotions are high and the drama is raging, everyone knows what they are supposed to do and they do it. No one stomps their foot and says “hey, I don’t want to leave the stage”, they exit because it is time. It is what it is.

There is a plan. I am certain of it. We come in knowing we have made certain agreements before hand. I have never gone looking for a relationship. They have just happened when it was time. When the relationship was over I always knew why it had occurred and what I had gone into it for. Sometimes I could see the ending coming before it was even time. Scary stuff if you are attached to “til death do us “.

At the beginning of any relationship I have always had this moment of initial memory-like a recognition that is like from another time and place but not here. I just trust that. My soul understands.Then the relationship unfolds and it is a thing of beauty. It is an opportunity to love and feel and grow and be. It is like two merged astrology charts or a corporation-it is an entity all by itself. It has a life of its own. Like us, that life goes on for as long as the feelings are authentic and the truth of both parners and then it is over. Endings are also things of beauty because they are beginnings and here we are again.

It is another of life’s cycles. It is renewal and rebirth. Personally I feel if a relationship is right. My heart tells me yes or no. Then I make of it what I will. My heart has never steered me wrong. I must have great GPS.

If you let go with love you will be riding a wave of love when you meet your new relationship. Isn’t that what the law of attraction is all about?

I love you.
Alexandra

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When Is Love Authentic?

Posted on May 20, 2009. Filed under: Law of Attraction, Love | Tags: , , , , , , , , |

When is love authentic? Well, isn’t all love authentic? It is debatable, isn’t it? What is love? Maybe we need to start there.

Let’s start with what love is not.

Love is not rejecting.
Love is not mean.
Love is not needy.
Love is not pity.
Love is not clinging.
Love is not jealous.
Love is not possessive.
Love is not critical.
Love is not judgmental.
Love is not distrustful.
Love is not hurtful.
Love is not anger.
Love is not pain.
Love is not guilt.
Love is not incomplete.

And yet every person who has ever been “in love” has felt one or all of those emotions and reactions toward a loved one. Those emotions and reactions are not love. They also interfere with and disrupt the natural flow of love. The worst is when those feelings are turned on ourselves. When we do not love ourselves we are the meanest of all. We lash out at everyone and we are never satisfied with anything.

The worst of it is that when we do not love ourselves we cannot possibly authentically love anyone else. We simply cannot give what we do not possess. According to the law of attraction we will see who we are by the mirror image of who we attract into our lives. It cannot be any other way. If the people you want to resonate with are not showing up in your life you have to look at what you are generating energetically. If the people you do resonate with do not feel good to you then there is a need to evaluate what kind of energy you are communicating. Could it be that you do not appear to others to love your very own self?

One of the first things to do is to examine your own authenticity.

By that I do not mean that you have to try to be nicer or give more to others. Although that may be true somewhere in your life. What I do mean is this, how do you feel to yourself? Do you know who you are? How is your integrity? What are your values? Do you know what you like? Do you live in the truth of what you like and who you are? What do you like to do? Are you doing that on a regular basis or even daily? Or do you possibly not do it at all anymore? Why not? Do you at least have plans that target the changes you desire in order to acknowledge and create the life you do desire and dream about? Can you see yourself living a happy life as YOU?

An Old Paradigm

Have you sold your happiness up the river for something that made you feel safe once and now just makes you feel closed off or trapped and hopeless? Are you living a life that others have chosen for you or that is a sacrifice for others happiness and not your own? If that is true I hope you will go through whatever it takes to change that as soon as possible. No matter what, that lifestyle will rob your life of joy, longevity, health, satisfaction and creativity. How can you be authentic when you hate your life and you have all those losses?

Another way to know if you are living authentically is to ask yourself if you admire others more than yourself and wish you were more like them. I used to do that. I thought I should be more like this person or that person. That was because I didn’t know that I was already uniquely myself and that if I would simply be who I was inclined to be and trust that then it would all be fine and people would love me because they would finally see me and not my version of someone else who I thought was better. I had to see that I had my own purpose and my own divinity. I had to feel that I was worth more as myself than I could ever be worth as a copy of someone else!

I had to see that the only failure in my life was my failure to be me!

The more you love yourself the more you will love others without wanting to be them or to be more like them. I love Mother Teresa but I am not her and I never will be. I didn’t come here to be Mother Teresa. And Mother Teresa did not enter this life to be me. It is fine to admire skills and attributes and model them to learn from them. It is a very good way to learn but that doesn’t mean you want to become that person. It is important to know the difference.

So when is love authentic?

Love is authentic when it comes from people who love themselves and accept themselves as they are even if they never changed a thing. Love your appearance. Love your character. Love your abilities. Love your life and everything in it. Resistance to WHAT IS causes you pain and prevents you from loving yourself and thus others authentically. When you love yourself the way you are you will naturally change the things that do not align with the best version of you that you came here to be. It won’t be you being someone else. It will be you being you and you loving you. Then the love you express is authentic and it does not require that others change for you to love them either.

In your authenticity you will naturally gravitate to those who mirror you and we all do that every day. We are all at varying levels of learning to just love ourselves and turning off the voice that says “why can’t you be more like so and so?”, or some version of that.

It seems to me that one of the reasons there is so much change going on right now in the world is because people are changing so rapidly as our awareness of love and acceptance of ourselves and others awakens to a new level of authenticity never seen before on this planet. We are manifesting ourselves like never before! Hallelujah and amen to that!

I love myself.
I love you.
Thank you for showing up!

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